My story in brief

I was really very young when, when I got involved with the kinky stuff. At first, it was just an innocent game that I liked. Slowly, it grew to be my passion. It begins from the time when I was just entering my puberty. The usual changes, interest in girls started to grow. Just, that wasn’t the only interest that grew. Lurking somewhere secret within me had developed a desire, unnoticed and hidden from even myself, growing stronger and stronger day by day.

Ever since I started liking girls for them being girls rather than just as a friend, I didn’t quite understand, but there was something missing. I had the usual desires which would seem pretty lusty for that age, kissing, hugging them, holding hands (:D) and similar, but I felt I wanted to do something more, something I couldn’t quite put my finger on for a looong a time. There was a feeling like there is a second me inside me whom I didn’t know. I settled on the idea that probably everyone felt the same and this feeling was probably of not having a girlfriend, which sometime in future will probably get fixed.

I used to watch a lot of television. I used to be really thrilled about the girls getting tied up, like Daphne in Scooby-Doo, other did scenes and semi-erotic scenes. Again, I didn’t realize it for quite some time that it was an erotic pleasure I gained from it. I just thought it was the thrill of action maybe, or something similar. But soon, accidentally, one day I am faced with the direct opportunity to explore a bit more with some personal touch.

My usual friends, i used to hang around with, was a small group. Me, my brother, my cousin sister and her brother. The 2 brothers were really small toddlers, just gained the power of speech 2 years prior. My cousin sister was a little younger to me, then there were a couple of other people who joined in sometimes. Among these other people was a girl 2 years younger than me.  I was the eldest of the group everybody else was a year or more younger than me. We used to play the chor-police (police-thief game) quite a lot. One day, one of us, don't remember who got a plastic handcuff from a toy seller in a police toy set with a toy pistol. Usually what would happen is whenever we got someone they would usually accept defeat and sit down calmly,  our game became more fun with the toys. The police had to shoot other people or grab them. The girls, like me, were set on the path to puberty, and though they didn't have any significant breasts, their chest had a distinct air of girls' chest about it and used to love it when our gunshots hit them there. Most folks were indifferent about stuff like this, however, Amy(Alias obviously) was the one in the group who took everything sexually, but she seemed to enjoy the eroticism of it all. Whenever a bullet landed on her chest, without fail she'd make lewd comments about it: "If I was an older girl, you'd be the one in jail", "Haww, how dare you"  etc. It was so severely erotic to me that I cannot explain. She made comments which made it really plain that she was taking this sexually, but at the same time, she was clearly having the time of her life. It was a rule that anyone who 'got shot' will act like it was a real, non-fatal shot and get limp for the police to capture them. The 'capturing' included handcuffing the thief behind back and grabbing them to the appointed 'jail'. The thief could, and would usually resist everything till the jail part, also partly because the first 3 to get caught would have to remain in jail for 15 minutes. The thief was allowed to get free if it could with the help of others, all that was needed was for someone to pull the handcuff lever which took them off. The risk was that anyone who approaches could be shot as well. To get around this dilemma, we made a rule that police had to keep the gun unloaded and pocketed till they escort the prisoner. If the prisoner got loose of the grip, then only is the police allowed to load the weapon and recapture the thief. The toddlers were obviously discounted for everything, they were like free radicals, not a thief in the game, but disruptive. Naturally, who'd explain to their young minds the rules of adolescent games? They'd get in the way of police, puny troublemakers and naturally, the game otherwise wasn't apt for their age either. The jail was the swing we had, it was placed in a corner, so 3 legs were available, hence, the 3 prisoners would be handcuffed to it. The others would then rest and do something around the prisoners or tease them, tickle them etc. All this started to happen day after day as we constantly kept on changing our games to make them more interesting. How it got to this point even I do not know, but I do know that most of the ideas to subdue the prisoners more and more came from me because I never understood why I liked that, but surely got that I did like that.

Essentially, the game, whenever we used to play, got modified. Amy used to make the best efforts to escape For her, that was the most fun part, a few months down the line when she became my sub is when she revealed she liked the part of getting into trouble again and again and being captured. Anyhow, due to her restless behavior, we all started to keep a firmer grip on her. I took my chance with this, and one day put my arm around her from behind just above her chest, below her shoulders. In her frantic attempt to escape, she tried to slide down from my arm, having expected something like this, my reflexes caught her again, and my hand landed on her chest, where I clutched her really tightly, I sort of figured I might have crossed some boundary here, but to my delight, she didn't mind this at all. Out of her usual habit, she made another obscene comment: "Hehe, take your chance while I am still young :P". In the heat of the moment, embarrassed, I readjusted my grip on her and held her around the stomach. But I got over that pretty soon. Soon after, she came up with the concept of an escape code. She demanded that if a prisoner is able to send a 'distress message' to all their allies, which was something along the lines of "--name-- I have been caught, help me", to everyone, then the police has to leave their prisoner and get the gun ready while the allies will quickly try to free the prisoner. It was past her becoming my sub that I realized, she did all this to bring herself more and more trouble. As much effort as I was putting into trying to get these girls be tied up, she was also putting same to get tied up. The solution to this obviously became hand gagging the prisoner. Within a couple of days, it was my cousin who broke her handcuffs while in prison, they were plastic after all, she did this unintentionally, but joked about escaping prison, which apparently made sense to everyone. I absolutely hated that, because everyone knew the handcuffs were easy to bend your way out of. I started seeing this as a threat to my regular enjoyment of tied up girls. But I of course couldn't say that out loud. Quite a few days went by with prisoners escaping left right and center. The only entertainment I had left was the capturing part. Having been on the receiving end of this a few times, I also realized, to some extent, I liked the feeling, but overall, I'd rather capture the girls. Being the eldest in the group, I was usually not one to get imprisoned.

My solution to the 'escapee problem' became the end of us playing this game. I introduced cloth based tying of hands in prison instead of handcuffs. I agreed if anyone could escape that, then escape, but it wouldn't be an easy thing to do. cloth isn't cheap plastic after all. I did not know how to tie someone properly then. The technique I knew was from movies and tv to wrap the rope/cloth around the hands and tie a knot. Pretty basic, but to make that inescapable, it had to be quite tight. One day the parents, who used to just sit together and talk, got their eyes landed on three tied up kids in the balcony. They'd usually just ignored this thinking a kids game, but when they saw the binds on hands, they released the kids at once and examined the hands. We were told to put a stop to this game, and got a great big lecture on how we are setting a bad example to the toddlers and how this could be dangerous. Thankfully, in their eyes we were stupid kids doing stupid stuff, not cunning kids doing sexual stuff. I am not sure if the other guys enjoyed this in the same way I did, or was it just game entertainment for them. But this prohibition on anything to do with chor police game came with the end of my 'special fun' time. If it was just onto me, probably this would be the last of it.

Summer holidays arrived a few weeks(2-3) after our ban. Most of our friends went to their home town. Some's relatives came home to them. My cousin got relatives, and Amy too. With spending time with the guests, our time became a bit limited. The usual summer holiday air started to set in. All the ladies would gather one place and talk for hours, with the younger kids usually so they wouldn't call moms again and again. They'd be given snacks and left to roam wildly around the house. And a little aged ones like us, were the ones to watch TV at home, enjoy the cooler air, sleep, complete homework etc. In this environment, me and my friends would gather in a really limited group. One fine day it was just me, my brother watching his TV serials as mom had left him with me, my cousin sis, and Amy. After chilling for some time, it was Amy who suggested we play chor police again. My sis, worried what would happen if either parents saw, tried to protest. Me and Amy convinced her that we'd not go to balcony to that swing, instead we'll just tie the prisoner inside only. Then no one will find out and this will give the prisoners as much time as they need to get free, so we'll not have any time limit because neither of them can anyways catch me, so I will be the police. It was a really beautiful day for me. I went ahead, captured them easily, and tied their hands behind. With no one to judge me, I also teased my dreams out of them. I tickled them, hand gagged them, blindfolded them. I helped them drink water and loved every bit of their helplessness and dependency on me. They eventually got really frustrated and begged me to release them, and I had no choice but to let them go. After this, we started doing this secret thing a bit more, each time, my cousin more and more reluctant. One day, she just called it quits, that she wont do it at all. Now I was really hesitant about doing this with just Amy. After all there was no point just 2 people playing a stupid game leaving the third. Amy usually always came with my sis, since she was friends with her first.

One day, she just came of her own accord, the ladies gathering was at her house. She didn't ask a single question about my cousin, or expressed we should call her. She fiddled around a bit with time pass, then asked if I will play chor-police. I agreed of course, however, this was the first ever time I was alone with her, she was there for me, not because I am in the same group of people as her, or elder brother of her best friend, but because she had gotten close tome as well. I felt, it was the right time to be open with her, her lewd comments and weird nature suggested that she just might be my complimentary. I couldn't understand why she'd like being tied up, but evidence of everything that had happened so far suggested that she did. I asked her plainly and openly whether she would like to skip the game part and jut let me tie her up. She considered for a moment, then asked a variety of questions to clear the awkward air. She asked if I played the game because I enjoyed it or just to tie people up. I was honest with her, told her that I liked tying her up. She asked if I'd release her when she wanted to. I told her I didn't want to, and I will not, unless she gets really uncomfortable. She then asked how long I wanted to keep her. I thought and thought. This was it, I knew. I just needed to be reasonable, and she just might let me do as I please. I thought about how she has been easily been going about 15 mins since quite a few weeks and about 25 mins post our ban. I hoped to stretch her a bit, and told her I'll keep her for 40. She asked if I'll release her after that no matter what. This is what we finally agreed upon. That day I tied Amy up and blindfolded her for 40 mins no less. Around 25, she started to get frustrated. She said she has been too long into this, she wanted to flex her arms, and that she was getting bored. So I started to tickle her a little here and there, reminded her she still has 15 mins more to go. She asked me if I could let her experience this in more positions, she wanted me to hold her in sitting position and and then stand her up. I obliged, and held her pressed against me, continued to tease her, gagged her a bit every now and then and tickled. 35 mins into bondage, she is starting to think I am tricking her and I've tied her much more than agreed on. So I let her peek at the clock a bit. She sighs and says, well, only 5 more minutes. Post bondage, she starts rubbing her hands and ease them up, asks me for water, says she needs to chill a bit. I started to think I stretched her way too much, and got worried. I asked her if she was okay, if she needs something, whether she liked it. She waited a bit, and told me that she loved what happened, and wanted to do it again if I am okay with it. I obviously was and got the rope ready when she made her intention clear. She meant again some other time, not right again. Oh! I say, cool. I didn't think it was a good idea to pursue the matter. I didn't want to sound like a hungry animal. After this, we started to do this regularly. the second time we did this, she asked me for a variety of stuff, she wanted to be put in a chair, bound, she wanted me to carry her in her arms and to gag her as well. After the session, she hugs me and told me that she loved doing this. I had a concern about whether she had fallen in love with me, because I hadn't. I'd as well get readily ready to tie any other girl, if there was one around, but I didn't ask many questions. Third session, I asked since w are explicitly doing a bondage, can I grab her by her chest as I used to do during our games. She said I can do whatever I want with her, as long as she gets to keep her lowers on. She called out clearly that she will not tolerate it if I try to pry her pants off and try to rape her. That was fine by me. I took her to her word about 'doing anything' to her. I tied her up, blindfolded her, and turned her on her back. As she lay on the bed, I put my entire weight against her chest and kissed her straight. She made some surprised moaning gagging sounds and jerked her head aside and asks " kya kar rahe ho" (tone wise: Wtf are you doing). I reminded her she said I could do anything. She thought for a bit, then said "theek hai, lekin yaad rakhna kya limit hai" (fine, remember where the limit is).

This was the beginning of our clearly called out dom/sub relationship. We didn't know how real world BDSM worked. Heck we didn't even know there was something like that. All we thought, when I talked to her was that we were both weird and some sort of mental beings. I did not know how to tie her super properly. It was clumsy sort of bondage, which could be easily escaped from if you were left to focus solely on that. The kind where you just wrap the ropes around body parts and tie a knot. Later, when searching porn across the web I also came across some bdsm, my mind was straight up blown. I saw girls tied up so cruelly that it shook me for some time. I did not know that the girls whose photos I saw were bondage models. The video I had come across was probably a roleplay, because the girl was being mistreated, her clothes were torn apart, she was forcefully tied up, slapped and spanked. I was sort of revolted. I did notice how the way the girl was tied up was quite complicated compared to mine. I started searching terms : tied up girl, bound and gagged, bondage etc. Slowly and slowly I explored more. Over time, I became aware that the extremes I saw were consensual role-play. I found techniques to tie her up better. I also started exploring the sadism side of it, and realized some of the biggest turn ons for me were electroplay, breath play, predicament and fear play. We never used the concept of safe words, because we didn't know that is how it was done. We relied on me understanding when she has had enough of the pain is beyond her. I mean a simple yes-no sufficed for us. Eventually she deeply understood that I meant to enjoy her and not hurt her, and she became what you could call a mid-point of sub/slave. Our usual agreement was for her to be my slave no matter what. She wont get a say in what / when / how much of stuff I wanted to do to her. She got a say in only maintaining her level. Too painful for her, I'll ease it up. At one point we also tried(by her request) a beyond limits sessions where I was supposed to torture her beyond what she usually called out painful, but at lesser frequencies. If I used to shock her 15 times a minute, I'll shock her only 5-6 times now, but with a higher voltage. I'll stretch her breath more than earlier and make her writhe in suffocation for a few seconds rather than releasing her just before.

We never discussed what our liking for each other, which was neither sexual, nor romantic meant. It was what we called to be purely erotic. 2 years down the line however, she tells me that she has had a relationship for a couple of weeks now. She wanted me to be careful about that, just in case it comes up somewhere.

The end of our relationship came about when I was going to go to college. Knowing our time was going to be a bit restricted, we sort of hurried in doing more and more stuff. One fine day, we might have been a bit careless with our aftercare(me cuddling with her and comforting her while the marks faded away) and her father noticed some marks on her and pressed her heavily to come clean what that was about. My sweet dear girl ( :'( ) being loyal to me to the very end protected me and made it look like she liked doing self bondage. She was severely scolded she told me later in a hurry. I was tempted to put my foot down and let her father know that it was because of me, but she begged me to not say anything because she'd be scolded even more for doing this with a guy instead of solo and her boyfriend will find out too. Her dad started keeping a much closer eye on her, and unfortunately, regardless of all hopes anyone might have had, this was the end of my bdsm journey for the time being. The event seemed to have shook her quite a bit as well as she was not looking to risk anything again. With the limited time she had now, she wanted to spend it with her boyfriend, so I suggested she come clean to him at least about her desires if not my relationship with her. The last I've heard from her before her family moved, she was doing well, with her boyfriend being not satisfactorily kinky, but supportive. Today, I'm completely cut off from her, can't find her on FB, nor do I want to create mishaps in her life again. I have moved on to looking for other opportunities.

PS:

• The story has a bit of dramatization to make it fun to read, the real life has elements of fear, anxiety of doing it all and wondering what the hell we are doing, a lot of times considering to call it quits etc.
• To those who say seems like a shady story, where's the proof. I'd show you one, I've asked my parents countless times but they wouldn't give me a certificate for being a dom to a neighbor girl. But honestly, how do you think BDSM relationships happen? like "Boy: Hey, wanna get tied up? Girl: OMG! I was just thinking the same thing! How nice of you to ask" I don't think so. Every story has a weird start, you can't figure out someone is the same kind of weird as you are unless you get weird around them. To this end, If you don't want to believe my story, don't, Siyonara.
• I've continued to research and learn and build custom stuff for bdsm through my college and post college life, so, my passion still lives.